April 17, 2017 § 2 Comments
This was written more than a year ago.
Of all of my years of living,
Which have only been a few,
I have never been as sorrowful,
As I am with you.
Your arm’s grip on my soul
Retains me enclosed behind this door,
Though you keep me whole
I would not beg for more
But perhaps it is destiny
That granted us this presence
Of an entity that keeps me,
Confined within its essence
Though plead, I did not
Nor run, have I so
But creed took its pot
And fed me to the foe
Now I do not confess guilty
Yet truth would be a lie
For I held it gently
And to it, did not defy
But must you hurt me
After years of gratitude?
Or did we reach a curfew
And a split, requested solitude?
To now, I must behold
For I, must return
This sorrow, will make me bold,
Or else, continue to yearn.
December 12, 2016 § Leave a comment
To what extent can I participate in my days
Now, fully aware, that what we once were
Can never be again?
Your promise to another has been announced,
So to you I can no longer speak —
Not whisper to at the dark of night,
As we would under the street bulbs.
The news of your promise,
Battled me as waves on the shore,
Loudly, emptying every life in me remained.
The leaks hold my inner-self,
Unworthy of your love, desiring the unattainable.
How my expectations were heaps of mountains,
Of your endeavours as a brave soldier,
Instead, the steady land was of your choosing,
Picked for a woman my sea does not harbour.
Now a speech to you is sin, unmoral and frowned upon
For a woman who breaks the love of two,
Is no longer a woman.
Death’s brother snatched you from my arms,
To a place further than our memories.
I can hear your voice echo as I fly behind,
But now I must exist, betrayed of love,
Where birds do not chirp,
And you pour sweet metaphors to her ears
–An act we found deceitful in the past–
But now I want your warmth against my mourning body,
For soon I might write my last words;
If I threaten death, would you visit me?
Should this poem reach you,
Must you know: I have never loved a man,
As purely as I loved you.
I have never loved a man,
As purely as I loved you.
October 5, 2016 § Leave a comment
When happiness meets me in every window
On the walls of this hallway
How can I participate in a meaningless
Life when blind bliss looks me in the eye,
For now —
Paintings are the atmosphere,
And flowers grow on my shirt;
The paper is silk,
And this instrument’s my brush
So holy and divine,
Arabia’s weapon: rhymed verse,
Beautiful women, and wine
––the building blocks of religion
The father of possibility,
And all that is undone
Happiness that is galaxies and fantasies,
This happiness, may it remain,
Closer than my heart to my blood,
And my thoughts to consciousness
Than knowledge in quotes,
And information in books
May my prayers be answered,
May happiness fancy me still
In this forest I would drink from the lake,
Carry air from a circus on my backpack
And go hiking where my body cannot climb
— be a master of crimes,
Done cunningly, wittingly, without a trace
I am a saint who sins to retain my sanity
Because after-all, you cannot be happy
Without sacrificing a few flowers
Which would’ve grew on your grave.
September 16, 2016 § 1 Comment
black glasses covering dark brown eyes,
curly hair reaching beneath your ear,
we exchange glances
like we’ve met before,
and speak silently in the space between us,
I see you seeing me,
feeling all jumpy and jittery
and when you glance away,
it becomes my turn to look your way:
wishing and hoping
that you know I can see you too.
you arrive with your coffee,
as I have before you
wondering: did you order the cappuccino too?
–size small with a water bottle
because airport prices are always so high–
or did you order extra espresso
to stay awake for the long flight?
I wonder if you see me
as I write to you now,
I hope you do,
because I’m slipping this note to you.
August 15, 2016 § Leave a comment
How long will I hold this in?
When there is no fire burning inside of me
And no fairies in green suits
Singing songs of joy.
This is not a tragedy;
This is nothingness.
The greatest of calamities:
A human soul was
Filled with hopes and dreams,
Until a moment flipped it upside down,
And a thousand jailed in the streets
Lit up a fire in the hopeless
Who were watching TV.
The jailed heroes became spies.
Five years ahead and
Now I am a traitor,
Void of hope, of meaning,
That is my sorrow;
This is my confession:
I am afraid as you all are,
As a star on television,
and an actor on stage
I rehearse my act hours everyday
As I stare at the ceiling
I fear to speak
Because my imagination has hindered me,
And my friends write me letters
From behind bars and under coffins.
Of all the motions,
I was seduced to nothingness,
And now I am the void
That holds this nation together.
We are all one bad day away
From a hopeless revolution
June 17, 2016 § Leave a comment
I have been stripped off my literary allowance;
a few months now, and the stink reeks off me
for showers a few and misery a scarcity.
it prevents me from virtuous poetry.
glee is a sin, and I need my misery,
but how, in this poverty?
I have promised honesty:
a crime –creative blasphemy.
chains of desperation hold me down,
so will you donate a part of yourself to me?
I need it to write a poem,
rip it out from my skull:
this instrument has been rusty
since bliss made my veins its home.
look me in the eyes, and hand me a memory
from your childhood; I can use any
preferably sprinkled with a tear or plenty.
please, don’t think I use you;
I commit no crime when I do,
it is only a reflection;
when you look into my eyes,
don’t you see yourself too?
April 2, 2016 § Leave a comment
The feeling your company brings to me
is like the streets of China
during New Year ’s Day.
And in a dark alley, far in a distant town
a person lies, staring at the starry lit sky
surrounded by the sounds of people chanting in the background.
Their laughs and ditties
do not bother his mind
for he knows they are still naive
and optimistic for this New Year’s offering,
that somehow, a date on a calendar, or certain numbering
can bring about eternal change, this time round.
Like the children, your smile is filled with purity;
unstained by the sorrows life brings,
and free from the chains of greed or its six fellow sins;
like the children, you deliver joy to the old man’s heart,
when even his face cannot smile,
and hollowness affirms its grip on his toes.
With every jump their feet fly from the street,
like hiccups of drunken men, or the hills seen from a lake,
like the man who no longer sees the greenery of trees,
you present to me all beauty in a plate.
So as I lose all hope, and feel myself drowning
in the depths of the cruelty of men,
you hold my hand,
and say, “Look up at the sky.
It’s New Year’s today.”